Quite frustrated today.

Tried to use my UnionBank E-On VISA Debit Card with Google AdWords and it kept getting declined.

I am 100% sure my information is correct.

Tried at least 50 times.

Tried using different information in case I wrote something wrong.

I wish the error message was more specific rather so I would know what’s wrong, rather than just saying “Card Declined” every time. That would be a potential security issue though …

In an e-mail being passed around in the office:

The Evolution of a Programmer

High School/Jr.High

  10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
  20 END

First year in College

  program Hello(input, output)
    begin
      writeln('Hello World')
    end.

Senior year in College

  (defun hello
    (print
      (cons 'Hello (list 'World))))

New professional

  #include <stdio.h>
  void main(void)
  {
    char *message[] = {"Hello ", "World"};
    int i;

    for(i = 0; i < 2; ++i)
      printf("%s", message[i]);
    printf("n");
  }

Seasoned professional

  #include <iostream.h>
  #include <string.h>

  class string
  {
  private:
    int size;
    char *ptr;

  string() : size(0), ptr(new char[1]) { ptr[0] = 0; }

    string(const string &s) : size(s.size)
    {
      ptr = new char[size + 1];
      strcpy(ptr, s.ptr);
    }

    ~string()
    {
      delete [] ptr;
    }

    friend ostream &operator <<(ostream &, const string &);
    string &operator=(const char *);
  };

  ostream &operator<<(ostream &stream, const string &s)
  {
    return(stream << s.ptr);
  }

  string &string::operator=(const char *chrs)
  {
    if (this != &chrs)
    {
      delete [] ptr;
     size = strlen(chrs);
      ptr = new char[size + 1];
      strcpy(ptr, chrs);
    }
    return(*this);
  }

  int main()
  {
    string str;

    str = "Hello World";
    cout << str << endl;

    return(0);
  }

Master Programmer

  [
  uuid(2573F8F4-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
  ]
  library LHello
  {
      // bring in the master library
      importlib("actimp.tlb");
      importlib("actexp.tlb");

      // bring in my interfaces
      #include "pshlo.idl"

      [
      uuid(2573F8F5-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
      ]
      cotype THello
   {
   interface IHello;
   interface IPersistFile;
   };
  };

  [
  exe,
  uuid(2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
  ]
  module CHelloLib
  {

      // some code related header files
      importheader(<windows.h>);
      importheader(<ole2.h>);
      importheader(<except.hxx>);
      importheader("pshlo.h");
      importheader("shlo.hxx");
      importheader("mycls.hxx");

      // needed typelibs
      importlib("actimp.tlb");
      importlib("actexp.tlb");
      importlib("thlo.tlb");

      [
      uuid(2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820),
      aggregatable
      ]
      coclass CHello
   {
   cotype THello;
   };
  };

  #include "ipfix.hxx"

  extern HANDLE hEvent;

  class CHello : public CHelloBase
  {
  public:
      IPFIX(CLSID_CHello);

      CHello(IUnknown *pUnk);
      ~CHello();

      HRESULT  __stdcall PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString);

  private:
      static int cObjRef;
  };

  #include <windows.h>
  #include <ole2.h>

  #include <stdio.h>
  #include <stdlib.h>
  #include "thlo.h"
  #include "pshlo.h"
  #include "shlo.hxx"
  #include "mycls.hxx"

  int CHello::cObjRef = 0;

  CHello::CHello(IUnknown *pUnk) : CHelloBase(pUnk)
  {
      cObjRef++;
      return;
  }

  HRESULT  __stdcall  CHello::PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString)
  {
      printf("%ws
", pwszString);
      return(ResultFromScode(S_OK));
  }

  CHello::~CHello(void)
  {

  // when the object count goes to zero, stop the server
  cObjRef--;
  if( cObjRef == 0 )
      PulseEvent(hEvent);

  return;
  }

  #include <windows.h>
  #include <ole2.h>
  #include "pshlo.h"
  #include "shlo.hxx"
  #include "mycls.hxx"

  HANDLE hEvent;

   int _cdecl main(
  int argc,
  char * argv[]
  ) {
  ULONG ulRef;
  DWORD dwRegistration;
  CHelloCF *pCF = new CHelloCF();

  hEvent = CreateEvent(NULL, FALSE, FALSE, NULL);

  // Initialize the OLE libraries
  CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);

  CoRegisterClassObject(CLSID_CHello, pCF, CLSCTX_LOCAL_SERVER,
      REGCLS_MULTIPLEUSE, &dwRegistration);

  // wait on an event to stop
  WaitForSingleObject(hEvent, INFINITE);

  // revoke and release the class object
  CoRevokeClassObject(dwRegistration);
  ulRef = pCF->Release();

  // Tell OLE we are going away.
  CoUninitialize();

  return(0); }

  extern CLSID CLSID_CHello;
  extern UUID LIBID_CHelloLib;

  CLSID CLSID_CHello = { /* 2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
      0x2573F891,
      0xCFEE,
      0x101A,
      { 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
  };

  UUID LIBID_CHelloLib = { /* 2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
      0x2573F890,
      0xCFEE,
      0x101A,
      { 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
  };

  #include <windows.h>

  #include <ole2.h>
  #include <stdlib.h>
  #include <string.h>
  #include <stdio.h>
  #include "pshlo.h"
  #include "shlo.hxx"
  #include "clsid.h"

  int _cdecl main(
  int argc,
  char * argv[]
  ) {
  HRESULT  hRslt;
  IHello        *pHello;
  ULONG  ulCnt;
  IMoniker * pmk;
  WCHAR  wcsT[_MAX_PATH];
  WCHAR  wcsPath[2 * _MAX_PATH];

  // get object path
  wcsPath[0] = '';
  wcsT[0] = '';
  if( argc > 1) {
      mbstowcs(wcsPath, argv[1], strlen(argv[1]) + 1);
      wcsupr(wcsPath);
      }
  else {
      fprintf(stderr, "Object path must be specifiedn");
      return(1);
      }

  // get print string
  if(argc > 2)
      mbstowcs(wcsT, argv[2], strlen(argv[2]) + 1);
  else
      wcscpy(wcsT, L"Hello World");

  printf("Linking to object %wsn", wcsPath);
  printf("Text String %wsn", wcsT);

  // Initialize the OLE libraries
  hRslt = CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);

  if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {

      hRslt = CreateFileMoniker(wcsPath, &pmk);
      if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt))
   hRslt = BindMoniker(pmk, 0, IID_IHello, (void **)&pHello);

      if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {

   // print a string out
   pHello->PrintSz(wcsT);

   Sleep(2000);
   ulCnt = pHello->Release();
   }
      else
   printf("Failure to connect, status: %lx", hRslt);

      // Tell OLE we are going away.
      CoUninitialize();
      }

  return(0);
  }

Apprentice Hacker

  #!/usr/local/bin/perl
  $msg="Hello, world.n";
  if ($#ARGV >= 0) {
    while(defined($arg=shift(@ARGV))) {
      $outfilename = $arg;
      open(FILE, ">" . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg: $!n";
      print (FILE $msg);
      close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!n";
    }
  } else {
    print ($msg);
  }
  1;

Experienced Hacker

  #include <stdio.h>

  #define S "Hello, Worldn"
  main(){exit(printf(S) == strlen(S) ? 0 : 1);}

Seasoned Hacker

  % cc -o a.out ~/src/misc/hw/hw.c
  % a.out

Guru Hacker

  % echo "Hello, world."

New Manager

  10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
  20 END

Middle Manager

  mail -s "Hello, world." bob@b12
  Bob, could you please write me a program that prints "Hello, world."?
  I need it by tomorrow.
  ^D

Senior Manager

  % zmail jim
  I need a "Hello, world." program by this afternoon.

Chief Executive

  % letter
  letter: Command not found.
  % mail
  To: ^X ^F ^C
  % help mail
  help: Command not found.
  % damn!
  !: Event unrecognized
  % logout

Today, I went out with only 12.35 in my pocket.

Paid the jeep 7 pesos, went down at Puregold.

They have no ATM machines.

I walked west to Allied Bank. Machine offline.

Walked back east, past Puregold onto Budgetlane.

They have no ATM machines.

Guard tells me there’s an RCBC further west.

I move forward, almost getting hit by a car.

My flip flops snap.

Finally, an ATM.

Got some cash. I need to replace my flip flops.

Went further west to Mercury Drug. No flip flops here.

It starts to drizzle.

Went back east to Budgetlane.

Their flip flops are no good.

Bad day. I’m going home.

I walk back to Puregold to get a ride.

It starts to pour.

I get rained on.

Home at last.

Almost 29 and life hates me.

I haven’t really accomplished anything.

My parents do not understand me.

I lost my business.

I lost my car.

I have no friends.

Nobody loves me.

I am alone.

This is my life, I did this to myself.

Advanced happy birthday to me.

Parenting

Sometimes I find myself wondering
Of how my life would have been
Or could have been
A lot more exciting,
A lot less distressing,
Maybe even interesting
If it hand’t been
For my parents meddling
In things I find myself in
But then I would not have been
If it hadn’t been
For their sweet loving
That brought me into being
To a world of living
And breathing,
Warm human beings.

Dennison Uy
05/27/2009

Image credits: Artist’s Parents (after Dix)

Winner of The Holburne Dukes Portrait Prize 2006

The winner of this year’s biennial competition was announced at a reception at the Holburne Museum on Monday 30 October. The panel of judges, including the artist Sir Peter Blake, the Times art critic Rachel Campbell-Johnston, and writer and broadcaster Bel Mooney unanimously agreed the winner as The Artist’s Parents (after Dix) by Vincent Brown.

Sir Peter Blake commented that the portrait was ‘a beautiful and tender painting which showed great insight into the characters of the sitters.
Sir Peter felt confident that Vincent Brown would produce an interesting commission for the Holburne Museum with the £5,ooo prize.

RachelCampbell-Johnston of the Times said that she loved the ‘unsparing exactitude of the portrait, its bleakness and the totemic feel of the figures’ She felt that the painting also demonstrated ‘great technical competence’.

Bel Mooney revealed that she was immediately drawn to the portrait as there was something touching about it which reminded her of her own parents. She said that ‘looking at the figures in the painting you feel as if you are looking at a real life story of two people; in a sense it is a novel in paint’.

Things I do when I’m bored:

1. Make random rubbish posts on other blogs on the intarweb
2. Play with my cat
3. Work on my plans for world domination
4. Attempt to hack into government networks (requirement for item #3)

Things I do when I’m extremely bored:

Rid the society of unwanted lower life forms by frying their brains. Here are some examples.

Case study #1: daviddelucca25 (horny mofo)

[12:48] daviddelucca25: hi
[12:48] daviddelucca25: im horny as hell, care to cam to cam darling?
[13:04] me: do you mean to say you’re horny now, or that you’re a horny person in particular?
[13:04] daviddelucca25: horny
[13:04] daviddelucca25: now
[13:04] me: you said you were in hell, how come?
[13:04] me: is that because you’re horny?
[13:05] daviddelucca25: cuz i gotz no one to play with
[13:06] me: is this type of play the metaphysical type?
[13:06] daviddelucca25: i
[13:06] daviddelucca25: dont
[13:06] daviddelucca25: care
[13:06] daviddelucca25: anymore
[13:07] daviddelucca25: fuck
[13:08] me: that’s funny, because neither do i. but for some reason you messaged me, and i thought i’d oblige by sending a response.
[13:08] daviddelucca25: (sigh)
[13:08] daviddelucca25: send to all
[13:08] daviddelucca25: and u and some other gals answered
[13:11] me: when you send a message to somebody, the normal reaction of the other party would be to send a response, as is the standard of discourse, ergo, you are just as obliged to respond back, probably due to lack of foresight in removing seemingly uninterested individuals like me from your “send to all”
[13:14] me: are you there? please don’t tell me your mind suddenly combusted.

Case study #2: milky_banana (monkey brains)

[14:08] milky_banana: where did u go
[14:08] milky_banana: wich trip
[14:10] me: trip to universe
[12:52] milky_banana: how was the trip
[13:04] me: It was fun, I got to see the earth and live in it.
[13:04] milky_banana: hmmmm
[13:05] milky_banana: sohow u feel
[13:05] me: it feels weird, talking to a primeval like you.
[13:05] milky_banana: oh k
[13:06] milky_banana: did nt u take the pics
[13:07] me: i tried to, but my camera broke out all of a sudden when i tried to take a picture of you.
[13:08] milky_banana: so funny
[13:08] milky_banana: ok carry on ,, have a nice day bye
[13:12] me: would you like ketchup with that sir, or would a big “fuck you” do just as well?

… AKA porno for the masses, starring Philippine sexy actress Katrina Halili and doctor-cum-singer-cum-MILF man Hayden Kho. They both have super hot bodies, which makes things quite easy especially for Mr. Hayden, who’s only a month older than me. Can I imagine going out with someone as old as my mom? I guess as long as she appears to be in her twenties and has tons of cash to spend, it doesn’t matter. Wooops! I shouldn’t be saying anything nasty about Quark’s mom. Sorry bro. Please point that gun away from me now ;<

Actual TV performance:

Here is a video of the alleged “practice” session:

They are celebrities in the Philippines, so videos like these spread rather quickly through mobile phones, PSPs, iPods etc etc so by the end of the day even your grandmother would have seen this hot hot HOT video. Whoever thought of putting camera and video recording capability into mobile phones is a GENIUS, I tell you.

And now, back to your regular program …

1. In the 70’s, I wasn’t born yet, but I wanted to work for IBM.
2. The 80’s came, and I was born wanting to work for Microsoft.
3. Then the 90’s and the Internet arrived, and I wanted to work for Yahoo.
4. Today, I want to work for Google.
5. ???
6. ???
7. ???
8. Profit!

Footnote: It’s like, every geek’s wet dream. I want it so badly, that I will even work for them free. That last part was meant to be a joke. Or maybe not. I’m that desperate. If any of Google’s hiring managers are reading this, please hire me. If you’re my present employer, and you’re reading this, don’t fret. I love my job, and I work to keep it. When we dream, dream big, right?

Those who dream of conquering the world are small timers. I, on the other hand, shall conquer them instead. When that is done, I will just sit back, relax, and let others do the work while the profits roll in.

It was bound to happen, one way or another. Today, my worst fears have been confirmed. All was well as I logged in to my blessed Twitter account. Everything appeared to be normal. But wait, something seems amiss. There’s a new search box below the favorites link, and when did Twitter have a home link? As I hurriedly clicked on the new links one after the other a deep, disturbing realization dawned upon me.

Twitter has been AJAXified™.

And by Jobe, I’m LOVING it. Twitter is like the kewlest thing, evar (next to Google, Linux, and the iPhone)

Read the Twitter Blog post about the new search function

Blessed are the geeks, for they shall inherit … cyberspace.

Dennison Uy
May 1, 2009